I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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