I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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