He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
