i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I deserve this hangover.
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