There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
