This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
