you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
