No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
