oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize