HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
