I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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