the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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