you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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