You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
