so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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