I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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