don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
