i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
