I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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