So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
high people should be assigned attendants
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
