I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
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