he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
