apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I supernannyed him into submission
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
