He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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