he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
