thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
