big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
