i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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