I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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