but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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