All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
