wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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