Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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