Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
