I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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