she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
