erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
