Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
