writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
