What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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