I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
