Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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