Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
