I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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