Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize