I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
