dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
