hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
