as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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