Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
