Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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